Okay, so on Tuesday I went to cast my vote in the Democrats Abroad primary at Portchester Hall in London. The problem was, I was having a massive moral crisis. I was an undecided voter, for the first time in my entire life (and yes, this includes casting a vote for Dukakis in my school's mock election in 1988 and crying when Bush won).

Since Edwards dropped out (and this Krugman column made me cry), I've had a hard time getting excited about the Democratic primary. This isn't just out of character, it's out of keeping with the massive turnouts recorded all over the states which (I assume) means that heaps of other people are terribly thrilled. It's a strange combination of disillusionment, apathy, and indecision that I've never experenced before. Between Obamania and the Hillarybot, who the hell am I going to vote for?

Yes, Obama's very charismatic and a spectacular public speaker. But in terms of policies, he's a well-cut empty suit. Without mandates, his healthcare plan is worthless and will leave half the uninsured still out in the cold. Hillary's plan doesn't do this, but she might destroy the Democratic party. Obama seems to be uniting progressives all over the US but at the same time I'm a little bit creeped out and turned off my his cult of personality. On the other hand, my gut feeling tells me he might be more electable, because so many people (irrationally) hate Hillary. My feminist gut tells me that this is because America is more antifeminist than it is racist, and that a lot of people hate her more for being a strong, intelligent woman in politics than because of her policies (many of which I still find uncool, such as her early support for the Iraq war). Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

So I voted my conscience: I decided not to decide. I'll obviously fight hard for whomever wins the popularity contest nomination, and until then Edwards has my protest vote.

Sez Bob Herbert: "The presidential candidates don’t seem to be rising to the nation’s many crucial challenges with the sense of urgency and the creative vision that is called for. Not yet, at least."

Meanwhile, I've joined Ravelry and am knitting like a fiend. It's nice to have a second hobby when your first one depresses you. I'm slightly alarmed that I've only been on there three days and i've already caught a very subtle Little Women reference in the forums and queued up more than 10 new patterns I want to try. And, of course, I've already found someone who knitted their own Obama hat.